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Mum, I've decided I want to follow Allah
Western women are turning to Islam in rapidly increasing numbers. KAY
JARDINE discovers why they are so keen to become Muslims.
Bullying, depression, and insomnia made Kimberley McCrindle's teenage years
particularly difficult. Taunts from classmates about her weight and how she
looked left the 19-year-old student feeling like she didn't really fit in,
and always searching for something that would make her feel happy, that
would make her feel she belonged.
McCrindle, from a family of atheists, did not encounter religion until she
began religious studies at high school in Penicuik, when her new interest
prompted her to start going to her local church on Sundays. But the peace
and happiness McCrindle was looking for eluded her until she started college
in Edinburgh, where she made friends with some Muslim people and discovered
Islam.
"I was looking for peace," she says. "I'd had a rough past. My teenage years
weren't great: I was bullied at school, people called me fat and ugly, and I
was looking for something to make me happy. I tried to go to church once a
week but I wouldn't class myself a Christian; I was just interested. But it
wasn't for me, I didn't feel in place there.
"When you walk into a mosque you feel really peaceful. Praying five times a
day is really focused. It gives you a purpose in your life. The Koran is
like a guide to help you: when you read it, it makes you feel better."
McCrindle became a Muslim three years ago and is now known by her married
Arabic name, Tasnim Salih. She is one of a rapidly increasing number of
British women turning to Islam, thought to be the fastest growing religion
in the world. Although there are no official figures on the subject, there
is no doubt that the number of converts is on the rise and the majority are
women, according to Nicole Bourque, a senior lecturer in social anthropology
at Glasgow University and an expert in conversion to Islam in Britain.
"There are people converting all the time," she says. "I would estimate that
there are probably around 200 converts to Islam in Glasgow alone, but that's
just a rough estimate. The data is difficult to acquire." Other estimates
put the Glasgow figure closer to 500.
Mohammad Faroghul-Quadri, imam at the Khazra mosque in Glasgow, says that
whichever religion people choose to reach God, whether it's Christianity or
Islam or something else, the important thing is that they are getting peace
of mind and heart, and proper guidance from God.
The appeal of Islam to liberated western women is difficult for many to
understand, largely because of the widespread perception in the west that it
treats women badly. A forthcoming documentary, Mum I'm a Muslim, addresses
this very issue by talking to converts in Sheffield about their experiences.
At a preview in Glasgow, I asked a group of converts from Glasgow and
Edinburgh what motivated them to change every aspect of their lives,
including their names, to become Muslim.
For 27-year-old Bahiya Malik, or Lucy Norris to her parents, it's difficult
to explain. Bahiya, who lives in Edinburgh, her twin sister, Victoria, and
their brother, Matthew, grew up as practising Christians in a rural area in
the West Midlands, where they attended Sunday school in the little church at
the top of their road. As they got older, the three stopped going to church
and seven years ago, at the age of 20, both Bahiya and her sister converted
to Islam - six months after their brother.
"Maybe all through our teenage years we hadn't been that happy. I can't
really say what it was. I don't know if we felt there was something missing
or that we didn't fit in. We were a little bit shy and we weren't really
outgoing sort of people," she says. At the time, Bahiya was two years into a
media and television course in Edinburgh but was feeling uninspired. After
around six months of learning about Islam, Bahiya realised that living her
life according to the rules of Islam was what would make her happy and,
during an emotional visit to a mosque in London, made her declaration of
faith.
"I think it's something you feel in your heart, this pull," she says. "You
can't really put it into words. It's like your heart speaking, something you
feel inside and you know it's for you. Allah has chosen this for you, it's
out of your power."
Women who turn to Islam are aware of the widespread western perception that
they are oppressed and discriminated against, but insist that the depiction
is a false image. For many it is a spiritual journey, which, far from
repressing them, improves their social status and gives them new rights.
"You seem to be really looked after," says Tasnim. "As a Muslim woman,
Muslim men really respect you; they do everything for you. You're highly
thought of and protected." Bahiya says: "I feel that because you cover
yourself up you're not seen as a sex symbol, and because people can't judge
you on your appearance, they have to judge you as a human being. That's
quite liberating."
As an act of modesty, many Muslim women don't wear make up outside the home
and it is often a part of their old life that new female converts are happy
to discard because of the liberating feeling that comes from knowing their
appearance doesn't matter. They resist being shown as they were before their
conversion.
Hafsa Hashmi, who lives in Glasgow, converted to Islam 24 years ago and felt
life outside Islam was like having to "keep up with the Joneses". Under
Islam, however, she says: "Your aim is not for this life, your aim is for
the afterlife. To some people that sounds pretty horrific: they can't think
about death, but in Islam belief in the afterlife is one of its main
features, because you know if you're doing the right thing you've got a
better life to come. So why go for all the material things?"
Converting to Islam usually means a complete change of lifestyle for those
who take the plunge, including a different diet, often a new Arabic name,
and your time revolving around the five daily Islamic prayers. In the
workplace, some people organise with their employer a room where they can
have some peace and quiet to pray. Wherever they are in the world, all
Muslims face in the direction of the Kab'aa, or the Holy House in Mecca,
Saudi Arabia, during prayer.
For female converts, the experience can also involve a quite dramatic change
in appearance. Muslim law provides that women must dress modestly. The hijab,
or the head scarf, is a particular focal point and can be a tricky area for
new Muslim women to deal with. Dr Bourque suggests this is because it is
such a visible symbol of the faith. Tasnim wore the hijab straight away,
although she found wearing it in public scary at first because she felt
people were looking at her. She was then forced to take it off when she was
out because of some of the comments directed at her.
"People would shout, 'Go back home to your own country'. I had someone spit
at me once when I was standing at the bus stop at college."
Now, though, she wears it all the time and says: "People don't say anything
to me now and I feel more confident about wearing it." Bahiya was happy
wearing the hijab from the beginning, but her parents found it quite
difficult. She says her sister, her brother, and herself were lucky because
their parents were "quite good" about their conversion. For others, however,
families are not always so accepting, often because they know little about
the religion and why their loved ones want to follow it. For Tasnim, telling
her parents, who are atheist, was nerve-wracking. "They thought I was going
through a phase at first but they realised when I started wearing the hijab
that I was serious. They started getting angry when I began to talk about
getting married. They weren't too pleased that I'd met someone older than
me, who was Muslim as well, and a different nationality."
While Tasnim and her mother are still close and enjoy a good relationship,
they tend not to talk about her faith much. She and her father no longer
speak. For Hafsa, telling her parents 24 years ago was perhaps even more
difficult because converting to Islam then was anything but a common
occurrence. The reactions of her parents were totally opposite. "I think my
mother felt that I was only becoming a Muslim because of who I was marrying,
but that wasn't the case because I had been introduced to Islam about four
years previously although I didn't convert until I got married. It took her
practically her whole life to get over it. When we got married, my mum said,
'If you're happy, I'm happy', but obviously she wasn't. My dad said it and
he meant it, that was the difference between them."
Tasnim has been married to Sabir, who is Sudanese, for two years, and says
she has never been happier. "I met my husband at college and it seemed like
the right thing to do. I was teaching him English and he was talking to me
about Islam, and we just fell in love," she says. Bahiya's husband,
Sharafuddin, is also is also a convert, formerly known as Cameron. They have
two children, aged two and four.
For Tasnim, Bahiya, and Hafsa, life revolves around the five daily prayers,
they cannot eat certain foods, or drink alcohol. But the women say they miss
nothing from the days before they converted to Islam. "Islam is enough for
me," says Bahiya. "You don't need anything else once you've found it."
Becoming Muslim has provided Tasnim with the happiness and belonging she was
looking for. "It's a complete change in your attitude, behaviour, and the
way you think," she says. "I'm now more confident, happy and satisfied. I've
achieved the fulfilment I was looking for."
Source:
http://www.theherald.co.uk/perspective/archive/8-3-19102-21-6-52.html |
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