Burn baby, burn

Your bespoke fat suit has been created by years of consuming more calories than you’ve been burning. “When you consume fewer calories than you need, your body turns to fat for energy instead,” says Dr Jack Edmonds, weight loss advisor at The London Clinic (www.thelondonclinic.co.uk). “Your fat cells (triglycerides) provide the fuel for this energy.” The triglycerides are then mashed into two different components – glycerol and fatty acids – which are then absorbed into your liver, kidney and muscle. The lumpy skin pockets these cells were stored in begin to deflate – and that suit becomes a bit more figure-hugging.

Happy days

Those strange feelings of euphoria are not just because you’ve won that weight-loss bet with your workmate: gut-busting genuinely makes you feel good. “By breaking down fat for energy, you’re producing a by-product called ketones,” says Dr Edmonds. “Tests show your brain actually prefers these to its normal energy source – glucose. As a result, it gets revved up and releases a cocktail of feel-good chemicals.” Don’t overdo it though: keep your system stoked by eating regular, small meals and sipping water all day. “If ketones build up, your blood becomes acidic which makes you weak, nauseous and lethargic,” says Dr Edmonds. But this time you’ve not got the excuse of being a lard ass.

Clear your pipes

“Losing excess body fat makes your heart healthier,” says Dr Ian Campbell former Chair of the National Obesity Forum and advisor to www.thedietplate.com. Research from the University of Texas shows that fat cells produce C-reactive protein (CRP), causing an increased risk of heart disease and stroke. “Just a 10% drop in weight significantly reduces your blood pressure, halves your risk of diabetes and can lead to 15% drop in your LDL (bad) cholesterol levels.” And here’s the trump card: lose 10lb in weight and you’ll get a whole new sex life: “Medical conditions linked to being overweight – such as high cholesterol and insulin resistance – impact on your sexual performance,” says Dr Andrew McCullough, director of Sexual Health at New York University’s Medical Centre. “Both conditions can cause the tiny arteries in the penis to shut down”. Running off that flab next to the gym bunnies should open them up again nicely.

Sleep soundly

“Being just a few kilos overweight can disrupt your sleep and lead to snoring that will disrupt the sleep of others,” says Marianne Davey director of the British Snoring and Sleep Apnoea Association. As you lose weight, so you reduce the amount of fatty tissue around your neck which was squeezing your airway, leading to those bison-esque snorts. The end result of losing just 10% of excess weight is improved sleep – by possibly two hours a night, according to the American Academy of Sleep Medicine. And less nights in the spare room, to boot.

Skin tight

If that West Ham shirt suddenly starts hanging loose, why doesn’t your skin as well? “So long as your weight loss is moderate and controlled by diet and exercise then your skin shrinks back to fit the body's new size, thanks to its elasticity,” explains Dr Campbell. Clever, but collagen depletes as we age. “To help maintain it, drink six to eight glasses of water a day and eat vitamin C-rich citrus fruits such as guava and kiwi,” suggests Amanda Ursell, nutritionist and author of The Complete Guide To Healing Foods (DK). Stick to three fat-burning workouts a week, too – drop weight without exercising and you’ll be left with more loose skin than Michael Jackson’s surgeon.